:: Kiss of Change ::

It's been a long time since I've felt magical. You know that feeling - it's a starburst moment of mysterious joy, and you forget everything except that one instant of feeling alive.

It might have been the foreign air, kissed with winter, that was searing my lungs; it might have been the sight of the Alps, cutting their sacred histories into the Austrian sky; it might have been the feeling of freedom, breaking old chains; it might have been one of the thousand images I have now committed to memory. But whatever it might have been, I came back slightly changed, slightly lighter, slightly resurrected.

***

To You:

I know it's a difficult time for you right now. I have no right, not anymore, to offer any sensibilities or advice; I never had wisdom nor feminine sympathy - you take it as my selfishness, and I'm very sorry for that. But I wish you only the best. Don't shut me out as you rebuilt the little bit of your life that got smashed - I'm here for you, my shoulders firm and strudy. But I will never ask again, I will never impose, because now I realize you are meant to be free, and freed.

I used to call you Orion - the biggest constellation. Now you truly are one. Far and away, swirling white and brilliant in a separate cosmic world. You're too bright for me. Perhaps one day you will burn for something other than your ambition, but now, this moment, find your own planet and rule. It breaks my heart, but I am no more.

***

And so again I must die a little, but I know I will find a way out of the dusty grave that buries lovers, dreams, memories and the crimson river of bleeding souls.