A Dream Within A Dream

:: A Dream within A Dream ::

"You looked unhappy," you said.

How do I begin to explain - the turmoil of emotions beneath the seemingly calm surface, the pain-pleasure element of our current state? I'm not unhappy when I'm with you. But I don't know if that feeling of buoyancy, that little pin-cushion of peace that offers no support for the impact of my heartache, that little jolt of joy at making you laugh - I don't know if that can count as being happy either.

My joy is a phantom now. My pain is a dull throbbing ache. My tears are my front-line defence, holding a deeper dam firm and fierce in its place. I've told you countless times; there is only space for your happiness now. And I wish for you find it. With me, with her, with them, with yourself.

I looked, and there was a jaded sky; the ghastly expanse of indigo stretched itself into an eternity we may never live to see. You've been my star and my constellation, but now it's time you shine for yourself.

As many nights endure,
Without a moon or star,
So will we endure,
When one is gone and far.

***

Yes, kiss time and it'll make up. Keep the faith, because, like you said, pain will run its course, and there will one day-one moment for sunrise again. Demain, oui.