| in the red |

:: in the red ::

From her wisdom:

"The value of Love is such that only when it's lost will its value appreciates. Not only does it discredits, it makes you emotionally bankrupt eventually. Your check and balances are in a mess and you may never recover from being in the red..."

How true. If only love can be a business transaction - clinical, clear-cut, generally profitable, open to compeition, responses to healthy investments, pleases its shareholders, and sustains itself through volatile market conditions.

If so, then I had been the worst businesswoman ever.
Because I allowed it to go into the red.
Because I didn't invest - not the right amount, not at the right time, sometimes not at all.
Because I didn't please the shareholder.
Because I allowed the volatile market conditions to sink in and fester.
And so the value depreciated, and so the law of incremental returns set in, and so by the rule of economics and common sense, it all became bankrupt.
In a profit-and-loss dichotomy of success and failure, I am an incredible failure.
I didn't capitalize, I didn't cash in, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't.