| whisper of a footfall |

:: whisper of a footfall ::

I'm a defeatist, I've always been; I never knew the beauty of hope, and I hankered constantly for the peace of contentment, because I found happiness to be such a patronizingly simple entity. As a self-proclaimed cynic, I became victim to my own victimization.

I don't want to be a defeatist anymore. I don't want to be the person I've been. I don't want to be selfish and uncaring, a splinter of an ice-berg, sharp and destructive. I want to...change.

Faith endures, and hope is a wish on a prayer. As it turns out, the true god is the god of small things, the smallest, most trivial things that we let slip away.

***

Like a harmless poet, I find myself lost in words and memories; each whisper of a footfall lengthens into an ache, a reminder, an acid kiss of if only. I'm sorry.